Challenging Day

I've got to admit, I'm not doing a very good job of staying on the wagon today.

This morning when I got on the scale I was up one pound, despite the fact that I've been doing everything right. I know there are lots of plausible reasons for this, I've been telling myself these reasons for weeks when I have a weight fluctuation. I know I shouldn't get caught up in what the scale says and should focus on results. But yet I still can't help what I feel, which is just plain frustrated.

Instead of reaching for chicken and broccoli for lunch, I found myself reaching for M&Ms (why are those blasted things in the house anyway??). How easy it is to just throw my hands up and think, "What I'm doing isn't working anyway. I'm going to sit here and eat these M&Ms and I'm going to enjoy them." And enjoy them I did. For about the minute it took me to scarf them down. Then I had nothing but regret.

I'm not depriving myself of all sweets, fats, etc. because I would just set myself up for failure for the next year. So it's not the fact that I ate M&Ms that bothers me, it's how I came to eat the M&Ms. I severely limit junk to a rare treat and then I include it as part of my eating plan. I PLAN to allow myself to have these little indulgences. The difference about the M&Ms today is it wasn't planned, it was purely an emotional impulse. Had it have been planned, I would have porportioned out a specific number of M&Ms to meet exactly the fat and calories I've alloted. Instead I put my hand in the bag a few times and ate Heaven knows how many. That is exactly the behavior that got me here to begin with.

Of course the important thing is that I let the M&Ms go as a moment of weakness and continue on my path towards wellbeing. But what I want to do is go "Well, I've already blown the day with M&Ms, why don't I go see what else I can blow my diet with?"